Wednesday, June 07, 2006
0 comment(s) / 5:00 PM / Back to top


We can`t blame others when love dwindles away-
For we knew from the start it never promised to stay.

Back to how I feel once again..

QINHUI was the one who I always went to with my problems.Now I was faced with the biggest one yet: a broken heart. And I had no one to turn to. I put on a fake smile. I pretended I was okay. Inside,I was dying. I had opened myself up to him and let him inside my deepest thoughts, and he had ripped it out. I had given myself to him and he had taken the most important thing in my life away from me : HIM. *Sadded* I wondered...what would I be if I had never gone thru this? I would have missed the opportunity to love and be loved. I had never felt so hurt in all my life. Its so easy for him to let go everything. I felt as if the past 1 year plus had been nothing but lies. I was left without any reasons, wondering why I had lost him. Just because of that sentence that he cannot spreak up or because I always change my decision? I pored over his letters, photos, mms, and cried for the memories that remained buried in my broken heart. Those words he said stung my cheeks as I remembered those terrible words.

I was hurt,angry and lost that day. I wanted nothing more than to cry myself to sleep and never wake up. It is almost 2 months since we left each other. We may have been young, but we shared something most people wait a lifetime for. He showed me what it meant to love whole-heartedly. He never judged me. He loved me for the girl I was and made me feel beautiful even when I thought I wasn`t.He changed my life in an incredible way. Do I still love him? *speechless*

Imagine he is a guy who can wait for u everyday when ur school ends. Send u to school early in the morning at 7am. Prepared breakfast fer u n baked cookies too.A guy who will give u lil` surprise when u have done well in ur exam.Eg. went down to Taka to buy royce choco fer u..strawberry dip choco. A guy who plan ur b`dae with u.. A guy who console u when u`re crying. A guy who tried all his ways to cheer u up. A guy who went through ur hard period with u. A guy who spent his time revising ur O`level with u everyday. A guy who is willing to sacrifice everything just for the sake of u.Where on the earth can u find such a good bf?

Now, I dun even know whats the real reason for us to seperate. He fell for another girl and not me anymore. I cannot accept this sentence "she`ll be my gf soon" came from his mouth that night over the phone. It ended abruptly as it began.I hung up the phone n sat silently in a daze for a moment.Reality sank in, and I began to cry. A friendly breakup of a far-from-perfect r/s, n yet it still hurt. A lot. We shared secrets and laughs, rainy nights and sunny days. Though we experienced many storms together, we taught each other valuable lessons about life and love. The way that I was able to look at myself through his eyes was one of the most amazing feelings I`ve ever had. But, there comes a time when quarrels increased and memories become bittersweet. A time where all that u can do is hope that somehow he`ll realize what a difference he made in ur life and how he contributed to the person that you`ve become. Does he know what I`ve been thinking all this while? I can`t ignore the feelings that once were. I hope to let go n forget him....However... I know I`m unable to do it.

The last thing that I did when I left him is to bake cookies for him although I don`t know whether is it nice. But hope its edible lahs, anyway its the sincerity that counts. I passed him the cookies n a piece of drawing with words on it. Stick a paper on top of that n it read " This is the last thing I can do for u.Wish u and her happy forever." I duno how he feels after that. Perhaps he threw all away or maybe the other way round.I don`t know! I just feel that he`ll not care / appreciate what I did after the sepration. Thats what I think. True or false?... Only god knew it..

I`m so sOrry that u guys have to read about all these sad things that I`ve blog. I cannot control that cz I will cry again if I never let out everything in my heart. But promise to share my happy things once again.=)

I hope n want him to know what I`m thinking. He was once my bf, a guy who I love so muchie. Now, a sentence settled everything which mean over. Did he spare a thought as in how I feels? WHY? Tell me why must u be with me when u don`t love me in the end and left me as u wish? Am I a girl for u to be with when u like n threw aside as u want? Couldn`t he tell how much he was hurting me? Couldn`t he tell how much I loved him when we were together? Didn`t he care? do I stand a place in his heart? NONONO... he don`t give a damn afterall cz thats what I feels now. So this is the end. What more can I say then? I blame myself for not working hard enough in this relationship.

This r/s is not short or long either. U want me to forget u and find someone better in the campus. Do u think its easy? NO! Its not as easy as what u guys think. I know u`ve forgotten about me n happily with her. I`ve nothing to say anymore. Am I happy now? *cOnfused*

Went to harbour front to do project in da morning. I`m tired. How piggy I am right? *hahas* Met up with amanda just now then headed home. I`m so pissed off yesterday about the conversation with my group members. Somemore ppl added me in msn, chatting with me some stupid stuffs which can really drive me mad.Shall not elaborate further. Thanks fer having the patience to read my blog though I know this entry is like an essay. *hehes*

Love does not begin and end the way we seem
to think it does. Love is a battle; love is a war;
love is a growing-up.





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LE PROFILE ♥


i am christine who is blessed with what i have.

i am 27 this year and my birthday falls on 4th august.

i'm just another ordinary girl.
i don't live life to be famous or someone great. i just live
for the success, love and happiness.

Though i may appear aloof at times but im actually approachable.
You will get to realise when you know me better
and how crazy can i be. :)

my life is like a ferris wheel, has it's ups and downs...

Though over the years,i've stumbled on rocks. i know
very well that with each time, I managed to pick myself up.
It makes me to be more wiser and grow stronger
with experiences that i've learnt & gained.

However things that happened didn't bring me down cos i
believe that everything happens for a reason, this may
leads me a happier life. THUS, i'm still generally a
happy person.

:)

Looking back at certain aspects of my life so far,
i can't pride myself upon what makes the me today.
There are way too many regrets.

I feel uber sensitive about everything, thus getting hurt
easily at the slightest remark and i hate to cry infront of everyone.

I live the life the way i want it to be for nobody knows what
future might brings.

I am blessed to have a great caring family and close friends
by my side. They're the ones who will stay by me no matter
what happens and i know i can count on them always.

i meet new people, learning something from each and
every person i've came across.

i would say thay i have grown alot through experience
and exposure to different things these few years.

Sometimes things are complicated including people as well.
It might not turn out the way we want it to be or meeting
people who aren't true to you. Thus, it pretty much
depends on how we see and handle them.

Life's beautiful...
everything around me seems to glow with a touch of magic dust...
lookin' forward to the future..
wanna fly towards my dreams..
just wanna smile n laugh with each passing day with my loved ones...
learn & see more about the world around me..

If I was never good enough, then I will work my way up forever..
strive to be a better person, better friend, better daughter.

live it, love it.. and still learning from it

Appreciate the goodness in life everyone! =)


CONTACT



christine_wsy88@hotmail.com


LOVES

Little surprise would definitely melt my heart ♥

i love strawberries, strawberry shortcake,
spicy food, hot chocolate, fruit salad,
candies, cupcakes, drama, piano, travel,
perfumes, dresses, white roses, hugs,
handmade cards, written letters, pink color, family.

Loves music and piano has been part of my life
since young at the age of 8.

i love people who are true to me

i yearn to love. and i long to be loved in return.


LONG GONE




GLAMOURESQUE

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